NO. There are many reasons for this, and of course, I will explain. The first of these is that I am a feminist. It really disappoints me that so many viewers from the show feel that their wedding day is the one, justifiable occasion to spend over one thousand dollars on a dress. To every one of these women I say, “Aim higher”. Call me when you need a dress to present your doctoral thesis, or when you debut at Carnegie Hall. Call me about a dress to wear when you are getting sworn into office, or for heaven’s sake, call me about the day you are celebrating the fact that the divorce is final. -Not that I have anything against marriage. I owe my very existence to the institution. But, LADIES, there are more important days in your lives, and I’ll sew till my fingers are bloody, just to be a part of those celebrations.
Now, I know I said I would not MAKE your wedding dresses. I will, however, help you design and/or illustrate them. A wedding dress only exists in the mind of the Bride, and nowhere else. It’s never as beautiful as it appears in your head, but it is possible to get close to that image in a drawing. Furthermore, you’ll have a much easier time finding the dress if you can team up with someone who has the ability to get the dress out of your head and onto a piece of paper. I love that an illustration hovers somewhere between fantasy and reality. And, let’s face it, images of wedding dresses frequently fit on the wall, much longer than the actual dresses tend to fit on the brides.
The closest I have come to owning a “Gonzalo” is your Banana Republic dress. I wore it on stage at the second annual Spring concert for my dance school. All I did was present my faculty and thank all who helped on the production, but I had to do it in front of about a thousand people and in the dress I felt confident, relaxed and like I looked like a million bucks…..despite being in an industry where if you are not size 2 you are sub human.
Thanks Andre….I am sure that day when you were locked up in that room at Parsons you didn’t think that the pieces of fabric you were putting together would make an ex-NYer-now-dance-studio-director-living-in-South-Florida feel like I could walk a red carpet with the best of them.
Bisou,
Suzanne
Amen!
AMEN ANDRAE!
As a woman working toward her doctorate in music performance, I’ll definitely take you up on the offers.
great post.
I love you Andrae!! What a beautiful blog. Also love the fact that you won’t do wedding dresses. And that you are still with your same significant other since before the show. Warmest regards felt from the bottom of my heart :)..
I’ll be in touch when I am defending my doctoral diss!
You are so right! If women focus on that one wedding day as the pinnacle of their lives, what will they do for an encore? And I say this as a happily married woman with good wedding day memories.
awesome.
You know… I kind of disagree. Actually I really disagree. I started dating my best friend in the world a couple of years ago and we are going to be married when we graduate college. I’m going to spend the rest of my life with the most supportive person I have ever known, and its going to be an incredibly important day for me so what I wear is going to be even more special. For me, that special dress means having my hubby-to-be’s mother and grandmother who happen to be master seamstresses, create a one-of-a-kind piece together with me. I suppose there are just different kinds of feminists.
I define feminism as wanting equality amoung the sexes, just as much for women as for men regardless of the topic. I can’t wait to get married, I’m going to be a housewife and have children, and cook and clean wearing pearls and heels. That is what makes me feel like a woman. That is how I choose to feel empowered as a woman. I think raising a family, having children and steering another life in the right direction is a noble thing to do, and marriage is the jumping off point for that in my case. Sorry I really didn’t mean to preach, I just think a lot of the time women who put pressure on their wedding day and can’t wait to get married and raise a family are considered to be the antithesis of feminism, and that just isn’t the case; being a homemaker is one of the most empowering things a woman can do as long as she owns that empowerment.
a doctoral thesis dress…I love that idea. Now that would be an inspiration to finish!
In that case, will you design my dress for my law school graduation? Granted, it’s two and three-quarters of a year away, and I don’t know if I’ll make it, but if I do…it will be a celebration of epic proportions, and the highest academic achievement I could have wished for myself! Marriage? Pssh. These days, I think it’s more about luck than anything. But hard work? Should ALWAYS be celebrated.
Another amen! Though I’m married, I did not put a lot of thought into my wedding dress outside of the fit and appropriateness for the occasion, as I’m a busy woman. I picked the dress I liked best that fit my budget. While there are some people who can afford $1,000 wedding dresses, it’s money much,much,much better spent truly bettering oneself, or to just put away in a retirement fund or a fund for yourself if the union doesn’t work out, or better yet, to charity.
Enjoying your blog!
I love the divorce is final dress. In my case it’s more like.. “he broke off the engagement but I will look FABULOUS dress”
Andrae, you’ve opened my eyes! I LOVE your feminist, forward thinking about this.
Andre, you’re a LOVE! What a great point of view. I don’t know why people get so nuts over wedding stuff — I distinguish between “wedding” and “marriage” — nothing inherently wrong with marriage.
Welcome to the blogosphere!!
So . . . I’m defending my dissertation next month. You going to sew me a suit? Rock on Andrae!
Amen to that, Andrae! “Aim Higher” is a wonderful slogan for a generation of women who put others before themselves! LOL, and if I had the money to do it, I would buy that $1000 dress for my daughter’s high school graduation and be the “hotest mom” there
Peace & Love!
BRAVO!!!!! What an uplifting point of view! I thought I was the only one who thought this way!
Andrae, you effing rock! This is exactly the way I feel. I thought I was the only one out there! I mean, there are other significant points in a woman’s life besides getting married (and yes, I am married). It really drives me up a wall that the only things women are “rewarded” for are getting married and having babies.
Is this directed at me? I didn’t ASK you to make my wedding dress, I TOLD you you’re making my wedding dress. I’m only saying this because I probably won’t ever get married and because that’s the only way I can buy you unlimited drinks into perpetuity without you feeling bad about it!
Andrae–Perfect! Weddings are special for the reason, not what people wear! Love You!
~misty
One more thing: don’t leave those dresses to languish in a closet or a box until they’re hopelessly outdated. DONATE your dress to a fantastic organization that helps women with breast cancer get their last wishes. Donations are 100 percent tax deductible, and they’re completely legit.
http://www.makingmemories.org/index.html
I don’t mean to plug another site, but I just think it’s pretty cool.
I just tore my calf muscle dancing to soul (ok - I’m a freaking soulie). The nurse said “Oh yeah - that’s a middle aged injury”. Ok, now I may be in the 35-45 box on the survey, but I turned to him and said “I’m not middle age - I’m fucking fabulous” and I totally believe it. So now I need a totally fucking fabulous Andrae get up. I’ll be contacting you!
I think a woman shouldn’t need an excuse to wear something beautiful. I’ve kicked around the idea of just having a wedding party without bothering to find a groom. Imagine all the friends, fun, food, drinks…AND I’d get to show off in a fabulous white gown. Just to celebrate what’s beautiful in the world…and anyway, I think I’d like my 8 year old daughter to sketch some dresses for me since I just love her sense of line and shape, it’s quirky but quite genius work (I know I’m biased) and she just loves to draw. Then maybe we’ll run the sketches by you for some input;)